A Day in the Life of...Nadina Monee Turner

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Stupid alarm...
Stumbling out of bed rubbing my eyes wondering why I'm up at 11a.m.
11:20a.m. goes by...
A half an hour shower using up all the hot water.
11:50a.m. comes...
I carefully lotion every inch of my body twice, I then start to dress myself. From my feet, working my way up...different huh...!
12:30noon rolls around...
"Why is there traffic this late in the day."
1:20p.m. and just sitting here...
Sitting here in this classroom thinking about when its going to be over and what I'm doing later on today.
5p.m. and still wondering...
Wondering why my life is so different...
5:45p.m. with my peoples...
Another sit down dinner with my family.
Smiling, laughing, and talking about how our days went as a whole.
6:45p.m. finding myself...
I'm finding my self sitting in my room on my facebook thinking who the this person is that has friend requested me, while multitasking a paper that's due tomorrow morning at 8.
9p.m comes...
Minutes are free baby...
and talking on the phone for along duration's of time with random friends about nothing important and laughing about the stupidest things.
12:50 is here...
another day has passed and I'm sitting laying here in my bed crying because I feel so empty...
It will be a year in February 09 that my grams has been dead...
It will have been will have been 7 year's my Aunt Anent has been gone also...
It will have been going on 5 years my father has been in jail.
Anger runs through my vanes of everything that's happen over the past 9 years
Foster care, being on and out of schools...
2:10a.m. laying here...
After crying and thinking for so long,
I settle into bed and relax...
I fall into a deep sleep and to wake up and repeat this day over again.

Reflection

I find myself reflecting
Reflecting on everything that has happened over the past year.
There are so many things that I can say has changed my life for the better.
In other word I learn from my mistakes...etc
My grams died 2.21.08 and it changed my world.
I was an All American 14 times in 2yrs for track & field.
I have graduated from high school and I'm now in college.
Exciting huh...!
I've met amazing people, who have made me laugh and have been there when I've cried.
I have experienced new things and historical changed such as Barack Obama becoming the first African American President in United States history and the Phillie's winning the World Series after 40yrs.
I've made good decisions as well as bad ones including my love life
I've found new love and new hatred for many things I have dealt with over this past year.
After sitting here and reflecting everything that has happened,
i can honestly say that its made me less ungrateful but more aware of what things, who I have, and what is meaning in my life.

Haters

TO ALL THE HATER I SAY THIS

I sit here and look back on everything that has taken place this first semester in college.
I've made some bone head choices, meaning:
People I talked and chilled with
Who I decided to tell my business too.
What I did when it came to my education
When and what classes and I decided to blow off and say, “I’ll go tomorrow", or “I’ll make it up"
To everyone who knows and doesn't know...It's a good chance I might not return next semester because of these stupid choices I made but that doesn't make me any less of a person and less educated then you.
The funny thing is, I've learned in this process is this...
Everyday people ask, "Roo, you’re not coming back..."? I tell them, it's good chance I won’t because I messed up...
They say we'll miss u but in the back of my minds, I know they laugh and hell, I'm laughing with you because it's funny, especially to all my haters.
You know all ones who wanted me to fail...
Well l say this to you all...and it's a promise...
You'll get yours don't u worry.
Hating is the sincerest form of flattery
It's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not.
I know I'm not a failure, but a person who learns from her mistakes.
I say this,
Can't any BITCH or BULL take my place on this campus...
If u feel I am address this to you... that take this all and SUCK THIS DICK
I will be back on my "A" game next semester making new friends, and jumping my ass off.
I've grown as a person, a lover, an athlete, but most important... A STUDENT!
See all u hating ass people at GRADUATION in 2012

Duces...

Focus

My main focus for the year 09 is to do what I have to do in school...and do damage on the field...All Americans is what it is...I will be nothing but the best...and settle for nothing other then the best...No cornballs will be allowed to inter my life...nor throw me off my focus for greatness...
I have come to realize that my one true love is Track & Field...as much as he stresses me out and we have our good days and bad days...he will always make me happy...we been throw so may wins together to throw it away...and he doesn't cheat...or betray my trust or play me like a fool...
School work...and the field is what its all about in 09...
Duces

I write

I write...
I write because its calming and comforting.
I write because its a way of expressing myself without showing outrageous anger.
Writing...
Writing for me can lead to other things such as me wanting to tell people to kick rocks.
Writing for me lets me say thing's l can not when I am around them...though I do not bite my tongue, so don't get the two confused.
I find...
I find writing to be helpful in such ways...
Such ways...I dare not say because people get offended.
Now...
Now that I think about that...
I don't give a DAMN!
I find people...many people...including my "closest friends" to take me for advantage.
Advantage...
Advantage as in calling me out of the blue asking if I can take them somewhere
or pick them up,
or take them here or there...
I never get a,"Thank you Roo," or "Roo do you want to do something or go somewhere."

Hell maybe it's me just being nice...

To nice...
To nice to not say, NO, or I have plans, sorry no can do.

I'm pissed...
I'm pissed because I am to nice to EVERYONE...
The funny thing is I don't have a mean bone in my body...
I have...
I have a weakness for people.
A weakness to always wanting to help someone out and make sure they are okay...even if they make a fool out of my kindness.
Then I come to realize, no one does that for me...
My Aunt died today...and not one of my,"closet friends" has called to see if I was okay... except for 2, Jonathon and Jaysen...also including Bryce
I write...
I write because I'm angry and I hate selfish people...
I write because I have lost all hope to try and talk
I write because this is the last thing left in me to do...
Just write...
I Write

Fools & Love

Fools & Love...
For some reason I always seem to get the two confused all the time
My out look now in it is this:
F...is forever and always will I love you but you will never come to do the same
O...is obviously you will never change and keep toying with my emotions.
O...is obsession that I have lost for you and have realized that you never had it for me hahaha what a joke
and last but not least,
L...is LUST
Which was all we both played on...nothing more and nothing less.

LOVE was never there...it was a figment of our imagination's Well at least of mines. I never loved you. It was a joke.
I sit here and write and have honestly realized that the joke was on you...and all this time I thought it was on me.
Tear's wasted over you and I never realized that you weren't crying over me.
When I thought of you, you never thought of me.
A funny joke
Now I'm laughing and moving on.
I am not giving up on every good man because I know there is someone out there who will love me just as much as I loved them.
Ladies we are beautiful, precious, and rare diamonds in the ruff.

Heart

I'm falling apart & barley breathing from a broken heart.
The feeling of a nothing ever being there.
Scared and alone.
My heart hurts.
My heart bleeds of pain and sorrow,
And yet,
My heart still beats with hope
Hope for happiness.
Hope for redemption.
Hope for fear.
and,
A Hope for love.
My Heart is one of the hardest things in my life & having words in your heart that you can't utter...is one hell of a feeling